HPFF Weblog: BitterEpiphany's Lessons

In March of 2005, our very own Noblevyne had an idea - to create a thread to index all of the things that we learned while reading fanfiction. Since then, it's had many off-shoots for author's notes, fashion issues and character names, but today, I drew out some of the things that I have learned from fanfiction since March of 2005:

Hogwarts has a social hierarchy, the highest rungs of which can only be reached if you have questionable fashion sense. Members of the highest echelons of this society seldom mix with members who have fewer "points" but - never fear, the Marauders have more points than anyone.

If you frequently lose things in your backpack, try crawling in, it will probably take you to hogwarts, but only if you have forced conversation with your friends while you do it.
Hermione spends most of her summer days wearing Gucci bikini's and swimming in a natural spring that, surprisingly enough, Draco frequents.
There are 248,215,551,548 tube tops hidden in a secret room at Hogwarts.
The Granger's are never the mild-mannered dentists you once believed they were.
Lily Evans plays the electric guitar.
Ton tongue toffees have many uses.
Snape is secretly only 28 years old but has had extensive cosmetic surgery to make him wise and distinguished.
If four paragraphs of describing what your character is wearing doesn't feel like enough, you can always include a picture.
Neville has an amazing and instantaneous understand of the dynamics of C++ as well as PC hardware. He understood it the moment his Muggle-born cousin sat him down in front of her computer. (I bet Draco will be really embarrassed if Neville traces all those anonymous IM's he's been sending to Hermione.)
E's are optional.
When you are having trouble finding a way to convey the true evil that is Voldemort, it can be helpful to compare him to the various balls used in Quidditch.
When you're having trouble meeting the word count requirement, a great way to pad your chapters out is by telling everyone exactly what everyone had to eat that day. If that doesn't work, I bet you could do 200 words on eyeliner. Including recipe's can work as well.
Draco has a line of hair care products.

# posted by Kay @ 5:17 AM