A few days ago, the incredibly funny MadameSnape IM'd that to me, time stamped and all, as a conversation starter. Nope, not kidding. Welcome to my life :) Yes, it was a bullet hole, and after our horror subsided, we realized the pressing need for an article like this and I was happy to oblige. Thus, the image violation feature.

If your chapter was rejected for image violations, odds are this appeared in your Notes field, much to your considerable despair. Now, before you get all huffy and start telling us that there were no images in your chapter, remember, no matter what chapter you are sending us, we always see your story summary.

10. There were image violations. [Full Details]

The “Full Details” links, so conveniently placed in our Notes takes you to the shortlist in our Site Rules. While, technically, it houses a complete list, it can leave something to be desired in terms of explanation and, of that need, this post was born. But wait, there’s more! In addition to this handy-dandy document and the two k-base articles on the subject matter [HPFF Images|Banners], there is also the pretty nifty Troubleshooter that can be found here.

The first thing to be discussed is that there are two kinds of acceptable images in a story; a banner and a chapter image. A banner is placed in your story summary and is, usually, 700x110 pixels. Banners can be smaller than this but never larger. A chapter image, alternately, is placed directly into your story text and can be no larger than 380x300 pixels. If your banners are too large, it makes the house elves cry, so do us all a favor, and keep your banners within size limits.

Banners:
Banners are a bit like bling for your story and, since this article discusses the violations, I’m not going to go into how you get one or anything else. Scroll up a bit and you’ll see a direct link to the k-base article on everything you ever wanted to know about getting one.

Of late, the most common image violation we have with regards to banners is that the banner is a link. I cannot tell you how many perfectly good stories are rejected because the author has used the HTML provided by their image host and forgotten to remove the link portion. If you do this, bad things will happen and your story will be rejected and then everyone involved will be very very very sad.

If you've managed to sneak past that land mine, congratulations, but it's not time to get out the cake and party hats just yet. We're not going to be very forgiving if your banner is too big. Remember, banners can't be any larger than 700x110 pixels. If you got your banner from a staff member at The Dark Arts, you're pretty much gaurenteed to be safe but, if you made your banner yourself or had your banner made elsewhere, there is a chance that it might be the wrong size. In that case, there's a super easy way to check. Just right click an image and select "properties." In case you want to stretch your image size checking skills, give a try to the image displayed below. It is 350x55

The next big troublemaker is the gnome that runs rampent around the archive changing banners into nothingness. Now, some suspect that it's run by the mastermind's behind Photobucket and Tinypic but, sometimes it's caused by faulty HTML. Either way, if your banner isn't appearing, your story won't be validated, so double check that story summary and your author page and make sure everything is working before you submit a chapter because that is major grounds for rejection. As MadameSnape loves to say, "Preview is your best friend."

Why that is major grounds for rejection brings me to my next point: the 12+ Rule. At HPFF, all public material - your bio, your story and chapter titles, your summaries, and thus, your banner, have to be rated 12+ or lower. This means a lot of things for some people - no razor blades, no AK-47's, no large bloody knives or , no nudity, no bullet holes, no drugs, no drinking...are you getting the drift yet? If any of these things are found in your banners, it is considered a serious image violation and, repeated offenses can have serious consequences. . . such as account suspension.

Another popular issue is probably the most dangerous and also involves the kind of content you can place in your banner. While staff at The Dark Arts know better than to allow a person to put a personal picture in their banner, if you have made your banner yourself, you may run into this problem. Using a picture of you, your friends, your mom, your classmates, etc... in your story banner is a violation of our rules regarding the sharing of personal information. Sharing pictures of yourself on the web is ill advised and, for your safety, prohibited here. Images of celebrities or models are a-okay, but if a staff member suspects that you are using an image of someone else, your chapter may be rejected and your banner removed.

Lastly, and this isn't something that we run into very often, you're only allowed to have one banner per story. That means only one banner in your story summary and no banners in your chapter summaries.

Chapter Images:
Chapter images are somewhat of a different beast and they achieve a different goal. Again, let me remind you that they may be no larger than 380x300 and that you can only have one per chapter. Chapter images go into your chapter itself, not the summary, so if you place it in your summary it will be grounds for chapter rejection.

The most common reason we find to reject a chapter image is, much like a banner, that you used the HTML provided by your host and forgot to remove the link portion of it. After that, things start to get a bit more fuzzy. Chapter images must be rated according to your chapter. (i.e., if your chapter is rated 12+, your banner cannot be rated 15+ or M.) While this does open the door a bit for the kind of content you are allowed to include, please remember not to take things too far and, as always, the rules about personal pictures stand.

Chapter images are also plauged by the same shrouded demon that eats banners, so make sure that your image is in working order and displaying properly before you send your chapters in or they may be rejected.

Without further ado, the final potential chapter image violation would be having more than one in place.

I am queen of the typo. I used to share the title with our very own Cariel, but I think I have long since surpassed her with my prowess to make comical typos. These, alas, are not my own.

1. "angle:" known to the rest of us as "angel" an angle is a protector, though not necessarily a divine one. Angles are known to appear particularly when one has been injured in battle. Snape has his own.
   
   
2. "acquisition:" while you might believe this term to represent the getting (or aquiring) of something, in this case, it is actually quite a gregious affront to one's personal character. An example would be calling a clearly pure-blood wizard "mudblood"
   
   
3. "pregnet:" when I first encountered this word, I believed it to be reference to a type of fish previously unknown to me. Alas, no...that is, not unless Ginny is this fish. I did learn that you can't get pregnet if you wear clean undergarments though. Another spelling variant on this term is "pregnaut"
   
   
4. "Parvatia:" this was one of my biggest canon shockers. I was falsely informed by JKR that the Patil sisters were twins when, in fact, there is a third Patil - Parvatia. It was good to know, though, becuase Parvatia looks a whole lot like Parvati and...well, she gets around.
   
   
5. "Luda Bagman:" one of Snape's evil experiments, Luda Bagman has the lyrical capabilities of the ever popular Ludacris with the Quidditch prowess of Ludo Bagman, fusing to form a powerful rapping-dancing hybrid.
   
   
6. "misterius exits:" the act of disappearing subtly in a cloud of mist.
   
   
7. "hormoans:" I considered the appropriateness of this particular word for a while before I posted it because, well, it's a delicate matter to describe in a fashion appropraite for the HPFF blog but I think I can do it. Let's just say that Parvatia hormoans a lot.
   
   
8. "smogging:" the process in which smog multiplies like illicit love children.
   
   
9. "defenceless:" to be without protective fences in a time of need. Generally, one is made defenceless when a sexy member of the opposite sex is approaching you.
   

Loyal readers, does your favorite reporter ever have a treat for you! Yours truly, Rita Skeeter, the magical world’s favorite blonde bombshell and most stylish investigative reporter, has managed to secure an exclusive series of interviews with the people who are the magic behind the muggle website, HPFF.com

You don’t mind if I use a Quick Quotes Quill, do you, dearie?

Testing . . . testing . . . Attractive and intrepid reporter Rita Skeeter . . .

Lovely, then, it’s working. Shall we begin?

*Clears throat*

JaxGranger, HPFF.com’s very own resident actress extraordinaire, agreed to a lunchtime meeting in Diagon Alley, at a charming little ice cream parlor once operated by the tragically-missing-and-presumed-deceased Florean Fortescue. Regular readers of the Daily Prophet will remember than Fortescue disappeared quite mysteriously last summer, during a series of Death Eater attacks on Diagon Alley. Yet the Fortescue family tradition lives on, despite the dozens of dizzyingly dangerous Death Eater attacks in Diagon Alley – the shop, currently operated by Florean’s grand-nephew Fernando, remains bravely open for business, combating the darkness with good cheer and ice cold treats.

While this delightful establishment is famed for selling bizarre and uniquely flavoured frozen confections (turn to page A-35 to read Foretescue’s old family recipe for Beetle-Butter-and-Pumpkin-Ripple), the lovely Jax opted for the rather mundane childhood favorite, Cookies-and-Cream. Is this a sign of a dull, dreary personality, or is this proof positive that despite her glamorous profession, JaxGranger is sweet and simple, the proverbial girl-next-door? Loyal Readers, I shall let you be the judge.

Wearing a shockingly miniscule pair of pink satin hot pants (which matched her tinted kiwi-strawberry lip-gloss perfectly), Jax gnawed on her fingernails and made idle chitchat until our ice cream arrived. Clearly, this glamour-girl was nervous, and the best way to put her mind at ease was to jump right into the interview.

She smiled fondly when asked to discuss her acting career, speaking wistfully of the roles she yearns to play, including Elphaba in Wicked and Marguerite in The Scarlet Pimpernel. Her least favorite role? A tour of Babes in Toyland, where she played the Widow Piper. “I actually hated that one,” she admitted, her eyes flashing with life. “It’s just not who I am.”

The theatre runs strongly in JaxGranger’s blood, considering she practically grew up under the foot lights. “I’ve been dancing since I was three years old,” she explained, “I did drama in high school, but I couldn’t decide what I wanted to go with my life. It was either going to be theatre or dental school. I applied and was accepted to both, and on a whim, I chose theatre.”

Of course, whimsy is no stranger to this stunning starlet! Full of life and quirky habits, it’s easy to see how she wound up on the stage. As we chatted, covering topics ranging from Quidditch (she’s a hardcore supporter of the Ravenclaw team) to her patronus (a mountain lion), it was easy to imagine I was just out for an enjoyable luncheon with a friend.

Talk even turned to a topic always popular with the young ladies: young gentlemen. After a little bit of gentle persuasion (and a few drops of Veritaserum sneaked into her ice cream), Jax was even willing to discuss the eligible bachelors of the wizarding world. When asked whom she fancied, she giggled and blushingly replied, “I would say Cedric Diggory . . .but he’s dead. Next, definitely Sirius Black . . . but he’s dead, too. Hmm, all the good ones are dead, aren’t they?”

A terribly curious statement, coming from a young woman who claimed to loathe playing the part of a widow, I thought, and I suspect that much lurks beneath this pretty face. I myself find it terribly suspicious that all the young men Jax fancies wind up dead as doornails. Mere coincidence, or a symptom of something far more sinister and serious? Is Jax a misunderstood, tragic romantic lead or that chillingly wicked golddigger of modern society, the so-called Black Widow?

When asked what it’s really like, behind the scenes at HPFF, her eyes began to fill with glistening diamonds of tears. “It’s an honor,” she sniffled, “The staff is an amazing group of really supportive and genuinely fun people who honestly want to make HPFF better, every single day. I must admit that there are times, while sitting in the queue for hours, I think about tearing out my hair and screaming, ‘No more Dramione!’ but the good far outweighs the bad . . . it’s a real labor of love. I wouldn’t trade it for the world.”

(Note from Rita: After this outpouring of emotion, JaxGranger required several minutes and a glass of water before she was able to compose herself and continue with the interview.)

After blowing her nose repeatedly in Mr. Fortescue’s handkerchief, Jax indicated that she was ready to continue. She opened her handbag to show me pictures of her dogs, Ellie and Murphy. Bizarrely, these poor and innocent creatures were dressed up in costumes – one wore a miniature witch’s costume (bearing a strong resemblance to a certain female Head of House at Hogwarts), the other wore a sweater. Our lovely leading lady blushingly confessed to purchasing a complete doggie wardrobe for her canine friends. Shocked by this revelation, I suggested that this might possibly fall under the Ministry’s decree against the cruelty to animals, but she tossed her hair over her shoulders and gave Yours Truly a decidedly icy look.

It was then, as she hurriedly stowed the incriminating photographs back in her handbag, that something quite curious happened: Her purse fell off the table and spilled its contents all over the floor. Though she was quick to gather her possessions, she wasn’t fast enough, and I was able to spy several containers of dental floss. Miss Granger tried to laugh it off, joking that she was a fanatic about dental hygiene, but it does make one wonder . . . what could one young woman possibly want with that much dental floss? Is she secretly providing oral care to manticores or dragons in her free time, or does the dental floss have a more insidious purpose? Given her morbid fascination with dead men, perhaps she plans to use this dental floss to ensnare a rich man and then garrote him in his sleep. Could JaxGranger possibly be a so-called Black Widow? (For more information on how to achieve the brightest smile possible, please see the complete works of Gilderoy Lockhart.)

I was eager to change the subject, and asked if her acting career had influenced her writing. Gentle Readers, I was most unprepared for the answer that escaped her possibly poisonous lip! “As an actor, you’re taught to work from the inside out,” she admitted, “That is, to develop the internal life of the character, and let those impulses drive the actions and external movements – And I like to carry this over into my writing. My characters, if I may toot my own horn, are always emotionally thought-out and very much alive when you read then. They have impulses and reactions as normal people do, because I take them through the emotional journey internally.” Contrived as it sounds, apparently this method does work for Jax, as evidenced by the popularity of her stories.

Sharp-eyed readers will have no doubt noticed that our Jax shares a surname with the notorious Golden Girl of Gryffindor, Miss Hermione Granger. Loyal Readers, I have obtained documentation confirming something that has been long-rumored: Jax Granger is, indeed, Hermione Granger’s much older, muggle sister. While she may not be mentioned in the books, hundreds of hardcore fan fiction aficionados have speculated about and written about her existence. Of course, blood ties aren’t always enough to create sisterly closeness, and as Jax spoke of her sister, it became crystal clear that a deep chasm has grown between them. She rolled her eyes repeatedly every time Hermione’s name was brought up, and spoke most derisively about the so-called Society for the Promotion of Elfish Welfare. “It just seems so silly . . .I mean, they don’t want clothes. But yet Hermione knits . . . and knits . . . and knits . . . and knits . . . and knits. I haven’t even paid my membership fee – as I don’t deal in magical money.”

Most loyal fans, I was positively flummoxed. The girl carried no magical money? Positively none at all, not even a knut? Simply astonishing! Money has been rather tight for Yours Truly these days, no small thanks to that meddlesome know-it all with the bushy hair and big teeth . . . but I digress. She had no money, I hadn’t cashed my meager paycheck, and my expense account was maxed out.

Gentle readers, there was only one possible course of action, and we took it.

Editor’s Note: Our very own Rita Skeeter and her interviewee, JaxGranger, spent the remainder of the afternoon washing dishes in the kitchen at Florean Fortescue’s, working off the price of one cookies-and-cream jumbo-cone and one pineapple-avocado split with extra caramel sauce. After a generous goodwill donation, Mr. Fortescue opted to not press charges.

Jay bought me a present a few days ago.

Okay, he didn't, but I love it like it is my own :)

The history of the HPFF FAQ's in my time with the site has been rather sordid. In it's original incarnation, the FAQ's consisted of a 10 point list of questions that popped up in a small javascript box and were a smidge out-dated. Since, then, we've ugpraded significantly but I never thought we would see an upgrade this fantabulous.

Our new helpdesk software, powered by eSupport, boasts a very easily searchable k-base that includes articles on everything under the HPFF sun (though, if you can think of one you need added, shoot me an e-mail and I might be pursuaded), a trouble ticket interface that should allow the staff to better handle your requests and, my favorite of all - a feature I want to sing serenades to nightly, the Troubleshooter.

For you non-geeks, a troubleshooter is basically a digital staff member. If you encounter a common (and linear) problem, the troubleshooter is where you want to go. It is, effectively, the same as the FAQ's but, instead of presenting you with several paragraphs of overwhelming information that you have to weed through on your own to find the path best suited to your problem, it walks you step-by-step through the process, handing over only as much information as you need to illuminate the 10 feet in front of you.

As an example, the "login problems" troubleshooter, which can be found here, gives you three different issues to choose from when you enter it; 'I didn't recieve my password,' 'nothing happens,' and 'the password doesn't match.' Following one of the most common issues - I didn't recieve my password - you are presented with three more options - in this case, e-mail servers. From there, you recieve information on how to correct the issue given your specific e-mail server. Much easier for some than thuming through a document like this.

Well, I'm excited anyway.

Greetings...

I've been finishing up the final touches in round one of our Last Days of School: Writer's Duel. I may be partial, but I think we have some of the BEST entries ever this time. So if you're just killing time on HPFF and looking for a good read... go check out the Duel Site. These stories are anonymous and will remain so until the final winners are announced Saturday June 11th. (There is a typo I just found on the main site. Our judges need more than one day to evaluate the stories.)

The polls will be up in the next hour or so. Please, authors, remember NOT to reveal which story is yours. This means you cannot talk about your story on the forum, mention on your author's page, in personal messages or on the internet in anyway. We ask you follow this rule for fairness. We do not want popular authors having an unfair advantage.

As Stary Bucky so perfectly put it, we were drowning in the "Saying Goodbye" stories. I was going to adjust the number of finalist, but in the spirit of a duel... since the majority of you decided to pick the bigger fight I'm going to leave it up the fates. The only change is instead of three stories being accepted from category 1, now four stories will make it to the final round.

The TOP 4 stories in the Saying Goodbye will make it to the final round
The TOP 3 stories in the End of Term Mayhem category will make it to the final round
The TOP 3 stories in the include all the following words and phrases


Also, remember you are only allowed ONE vote per category. We monitor who's voting VERY VERY carefully. It is IMPOSSIBLE to CHEAT! If your computer has a refreshing IP, we can still tell if you're voting more than once. DO NOT VOTE more than once for each category. Suspicious voting will cause the disqualifications of stories. For the sake of the authors who put all this hard work in, do not try to boost your favorite story up to the front of the line unfairly.

To check out our Duel Site, just click here!

Am I a blogging addict, you ask? Why yes, in fact I am.

Anywhoo, today, I come to you from the depths of my basement, where I have been unceremoniously locked until I stop swearing at my computer/finish re-skinning - whichever comes first. Now, before you think that's horrible, I've had a t-shirt made this morning that reads "Have House Guests. Will Go Quietly If Abducted." As another happy note, the basement isn't a bad place to be when it's 88F in the shade. My hamsters and I are quite happily hunkered down in here - cool, calm and not getting skin cancer.

Thus, in response to some of the wonderful compliments (thank you!) and the curious questions, I thought I would take a moment to dissuade some of the popular myths and the like.

This is an en masse reskinning project. Normally, when the site gets a new skin, only one is provided and all of the others remain. This time, however, the skin sets are going through a major overhaul to make them universally accessible and editable. Currently, when poor Ol' Sunny Butt (a.k.a., Jay) is forced to go in and update skins, he has to find all of the areas where a certain something is located, the HTML is different for all of them and it's a whole to-do. In the future, all of the HTML will be of the same format and template, meaning he will be able to do a quick copy-paste and update all of the skins. To boot, some users (namely those surfing on Macs, Palms, cellphones, crackberry's and toaster ovens) are having problems using the DHTML menus - a geeky term for those drop down menus that we switched to a while ago. The new skins won't include them (sad - i know) but it will mean that everyone who wants to is able to use the site.

It also means that some of those old ugly skins can be re-done or phased out. The house skins will be overhauled and coming back with a totally new look, but there will be a skin available for all four houses. Snowscape, Writing, April Fools and Writing Orig will probably go the way of good music in due time but will likely be replaced with new options.

As a final perk on the user interface end of things, all skins will have the same "template" - meaning that, no matter what skin a person is using, you will be able to easily direct them to the link or button that they are looking for.

Uh-oh, I think I hear someone in the cupboards. I have to go upstairs and investigate before the season has been taken entirely off of all of my cast-iron cookware.

In March of 2005, our very own Noblevyne had an idea - to create a thread to index all of the things that we learned while reading fanfiction. Since then, it's had many off-shoots for author's notes, fashion issues and character names, but today, I drew out some of the things that I have learned from fanfiction since March of 2005:

1. Hogwarts has a social hierarchy, the highest rungs of which can only be reached if you have questionable fashion sense. Members of the highest echelons of this society seldom mix with members who have fewer "points" but - never fear, the Marauders have more points than anyone.


2. If you frequently lose things in your backpack, try crawling in, it will probably take you to hogwarts, but only if you have forced conversation with your friends while you do it.
   
   
3. Hermione spends most of her summer days wearing Gucci bikini's and swimming in a natural spring that, surprisingly enough, Draco frequents.
   
   
4. There are 248,215,551,548 tube tops hidden in a secret room at Hogwarts.
   
   
5. The Granger's are never the mild-mannered dentists you once believed they were.
   
   
6. Lily Evans plays the electric guitar.
   
   
7. Ton tongue toffees have many uses.
   
   
8. Snape is secretly only 28 years old but has had extensive cosmetic surgery to make him wise and distinguished.
   
   
9. If four paragraphs of describing what your character is wearing doesn't feel like enough, you can always include a picture.
   
   
10. Neville has an amazing and instantaneous understand of the dynamics of C++ as well as PC hardware. He understood it the moment his Muggle-born cousin sat him down in front of her computer. (I bet Draco will be really embarrassed if Neville traces all those anonymous IM's he's been sending to Hermione.)
    
    
11. E's are optional.
    
    
12. When you are having trouble finding a way to convey the true evil that is Voldemort, it can be helpful to compare him to the various balls used in Quidditch.
    
    
13. When you're having trouble meeting the word count requirement, a great way to pad your chapters out is by telling everyone exactly what everyone had to eat that day. If that doesn't work, I bet you could do 200 words on eyeliner. Including recipe's can work as well.
    
    
14. Draco has a line of hair care products.
    

Star Bucky has an announcement. AY YI YI YI YI YI YI! Please, be listening and quiet, for this most important news of dueling.

The Logical Mistress, she says that story-duels must be submitted by “Saturday, May 27nd at 11:59 pm GMT (6:59 EST, 4:59 Pacific).” This is being tomorrow, my little witches and wizards, so please, to be hurried up and submit those duel stories! Time is running, with itty bitty feetsies, clip-clop, clip-clop, clip-clop!

I is most excited about this dueling of words and stories. Star Bucky is having much fun, skiving off from his staff duties with a bottle of butter beer, and reading the entries, which are much good.

Only, please, to make a poor house elf happy? I is drowning in stories of “Saying Goodbye,” – if you are writing to be entering the duel and are not yet submitting, why not be considering other topics? Please-please-please, for Star Bucky?

I is thanking you. Poor Star Bucky has been looking forward to reading duel-stories in the categories that are not “Saying Goodbye.”

Now . . . is anyone knowing what a latte is or where Star Bucky would find one, for Logical Mistress ? ? ?

Remember a time when all you had to do to write a story was open a notebook or even ask the waitress for a napkin? Those days are long gone and now you have to try to log in to a website before you can post your material and – Hark! Up ahead! Are those difficulties on the horizon already?

Registration Procedure:
The procedure for registering and logging in is a fairly simple one. Click the Register link (its location will vary based on the skin the archive is currently using, but it can usually be found under the tab or header that reads “Write Stories”) and fill out the included form. Make sure to choose a penname that is appropriate for the site and adheres to our 12+ Rule. You will also want to include a valid e-mail address. We recommend avoiding servers like AOL. Scroll down and take a look at "A Day in the Life of a Password Notification E-mail" to better understand why certain e-mail servers work better than others and the fail-safe's for getting your password to you safely.

Once you have registered, the next thing you will want to do is log in and post your story but, you can’t… Instead, settle in, go get a real book to read or grab an entire season of your favorite TV show on DVD because it can take anywhere between 5 minutes and 24 hours for your password to arrive.

If you receive your password, copy and paste your password into the login box. Note, if you have difficulties at this point, skip ahead to “The Perils of Login.”

If you are able to successfully login on your first shot, congratulations, you are among an elite group of Potter-fans, globally united against…well…something… If you didn’t receive your password after 24 hours, proceed to “A Day in the Life of a Password Notification E-mail.”

A Day In The Life Of A Password Notification E-mail:
The world out there in cyber-space is a terrifying web of proxies, servers and anti-spam measures which your tiny, inconsequential and unprotected password e-mail must navigate, battle and survive in order to get to you. Once upon a time, the e-mails sent from harrypotterfanfiction.com had the kind of idealistic hope that can only be found in small children and propaganda films, until one fateful day when a rouge e-mail made its way, backward, through the web of horrors and reached the HPFF server room again, packet full to the brim with tales of war, hatred and the dreaded AOL SpamBlocker service. Since then, our little e-mail elves have been downtrodden and despondent, wandering through cyberspace with no real heart so, in order to ensure that you get yours, there are a few measures you will need to take to bolster morale.

Remember, this one’s for Dumbledore.

If you chose not to heed our advice in the previous section about AOL e-mail addresses, or if you are being directed to this page after having already commited that, the greatest of all sins, there is little hope for you receiving your password the normal way. Please register a secondary e-mail address with a server like Hotmail or Yahoo! and contact the staff at HPFF about getting a replacement password and having your e-mail address updated. When doing so, you will need to provide us with your registered e-mail address (the original AOL address you used), your penname, as well as the new e-mail address you plan to use with the account in future. We will issue you a new password and update the e-mail address under your account settings to verify that this does not happen in future. If you are able to login at this point, go have a cookie and a glass of milk. It’s been a long road but, you persevered and, blast it, you made it through! If you still can’t login and are suspecting that you and your PC might have been subject of a dark curse, fear not, there is hope for you still – proceed to “The Perils of Login” and give a try to those suggestions.

If you were wise, or simply aren’t an AOL user, but still haven’t received your password, your original e-mail probably lays, beaten, on the side of a firewall battlefield but, for you, there is a re-enforcement that can be called in – please, don’t send our boys into a hopeless battle, however, take the necessary precautions to ease their passage and ensure their victory. What does that mean? Servers like Hotmail and Yahoo! also have precautions against bulk and junk mail senders and, more often than not, our adorable little e-mails will be painted with that brush unless you tell your e-mail server otherwise. The process is simple, just add “no-reply[at]harrypotterfanfiction[dot]com” to your contact or friends list, replacing [at] with @ and dot with a period. Once you have done that, click the “forgot password” link on the HPFF.com Login page and enter your e-mail address into the form. You should have your password within 24 hours. If not, you, my friend, are cursed. Please get up from your computer chair, hop three times, counterclockwise, around your PC chanting “There’s no place like HPFF! There’s no place like HPFF! There’s no place like HPFF!” then go make me a sandwich. Or, you could just keep reading.

Still no luck, eh? Did you really do the sandwich thing? It’s lunch time over here, you know…. Hrm… Well… If you aren’t able to login at this point, don’t give up hope – after all, we have a solution for the AOL users – don’t we? – and if we can help them, we can help anyone. What you will want to do at this point is contact our staff via the helpdesk, let them know that you have attempted to retrieve your password using the forgot password link as well as added us to your contact list and, still, or little e-mail wasn’t strong enough to survive. If you provide us with your penname, the e-mail address you registered the account with, and a cookie, we will generate a new password for you but, remember, you cannot generate a forgotten password on your own, so make sure to write it down somewhere that your kid sister won’t find.

But wait – there’s more – if you attempted to recover your password and were greeted with the unpleasant notification that “That E-mail Address Is Not In Our Database” please take a moment to look at the section entitled “Existential E-fiction.”

Existential E-Fiction:
The software on which harrypotterfanfiction.com runs is deeply contemplative and it is important to respect that quality about it when you are attempting to access the riches it holds within. In order to do that, please respect that, from time to time, the site simply will not cooperate. What that can mean for each of us is that sometimes, you tell it to do something and it simply refuses. So, before you panic about a funky error message that says your e-mail address is no longer in the database, stop and verify that the site was not enduring one of said existential crisis when you attempted to register. To do that, you can browse the author list using the “Find an Author” feature.

If your penname appears in the list, then you are in fact registered and should consider the possibility that you used a different e-mail address to register with or, perhaps, made a typo. Most importantly, however, do not contact the staff if you cannot remember your registered e-mail address. Our privacy policy does not permit us to share the e-mail addresses of our registered users with anyone – particularly those who claim to be them.

If your penname does not appear on the list, one of three things could have happened. 1. You didn’t really register. In truth, you’ve never been to the site in your waking hours. Last night, a bit of undigested Pop-Tart collided uncomfortably with your psyche and caused a fantastic dream about a site, so wonderful that it is beyond measure by the human brain, and you registered there, frolicking about the web for hours before being unpleasantly awakened by your alarm clock. 2. Your penname was in violation of the Terms of Service and was either a) caught by our system automatically or b) removed by a passing staff member when they saw it. 3. This is the most likely option, that your registration did not take due to either server instability or a timeout. In any case, please feel free to register a new account and start reading this article all over again. Doesn’t that sound like fun?

The Perils of Login:
I’ve penned two and a half pages on getting your password and yet, there are more horrors held in your future. Yes, the perils of login are possibly the most ominous because, unlike the hazards of e-mail, no one can hear your screams as you battle, one on one, in intense hand-to-hand combat with your internet browser. For a few lucky souls, their internet browsers will readily accept that harrypotterfanfiction.com is a friendly site that would never hurt you or your hard drive but, for those PC’s that have had their hearts broken before, it may be more difficult. Thus, the following instructions have been written for those internet browsers already diagnosed with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

If the problem is your password – and you’ll know, because the page will read “That password doesn't match the one in our database. Please try again or retrieve a new password if you can't remember yours.” - the solution is simple – make certain that a) you are using the correct password; b) you are typing the password in the correct case and you are not making any typos; c) you are using the correct penname, without any typos and d) your penname still exists. If you’re certain that all of those things are correct to the best of your ability, it’s time to give getting a new password a try. Before doing this, you’ll want to scroll back and take a glance at “A Day in the Life of a Password Notification E-mail,” which will help you to ensure that your password re-generation works for you.

If, like so many of our users, the password seems to be correct, and yet the page simply won’t move (or appears to refresh), the issue is with your cookies. Next time, try using a bit more egg. Kidding.

AOL is our most formidable enemy. Stubborn and brutish, AOL is to our site’s login system what Kevlar is to bullets – unbe-freaking-leivably impenetrable…unless you’re using the right kind of bullets…er…cookies. Still, they’re not the only browser we have a problem with – Internet Explorer, Safari and even Firefox have been known to give us trouble and, while I would love to recount the exact instructions here, because they change so often, it’s really better that I link you to a list of instructions that, I promise, will remain as up-to-date as I can keep it. [Help Is On The Way]

Final Thought:
I know that logging in sounds like a lot of work but, for all of my detailed and whimsical instructions, no one of the steps listed above takes more than 5 minutes to complete and, trust me, you’ll be better off for the knowledge later when you encounter the problem at a site less friendly than our own.

Go forth with this knowledge, knowing that you now possess great power and, with great power comes great responsibility…and cool features like Favorite Stories.

Writer’s Duel: Last Days of School
May 2006, Summer Challenge


School days, school days, dear old golden rule days…
As the school year approaches its end, we felt the need to celebrate and prepare ourselves for a writing filled summer. Summer is the busiest time of year here at HPFF, and some of the best stories hosted on our site were inspired by the muses of the summer holiday.

This is a Duel to help you relieve some of those end of term stresses and prepare your quills for summer. Take the challenge and compete against your fellow authors for the Quidditch Cup, well not really the Quidditch Cup, but a $25 e-certificate is just as amazing. As always, there will be three categories and the nine stories with the highest number of votes will be featured on the Duel Archive and move on to the final round.


The Categories

Challenge 1: Story Must Be Titled-- “Saying Goodbye.” It can be from the point of view of any wizard or witch and from any time period. The only catch is it has to be canon-- no Original Characters.

Challenge 2: End of Term Mayhem-- Write a story about the last day(s) of school. Be creative and don’t forget to include plenty of maraudering.

Challenge 3: Your Story Must Include the Following Phrases-- NEWTs, Blooming Daisy Allergy, Graduation, Ministry Career Opportunities and Drowning Sea Serpent

Make it real and make it believable. You can draw inspiration from fanfictions, Harry Potter resources sites and most certainly the Harry Potter books themselves. This isn't something you want to rush. Take your time and proofread your work. There is a thread in the competition section of the forum if you would like to request a beta reader.

Grand Prize

A $25 Amazon.com E-Certificate

Dates

Submissions Start: Wednesday, May 17th at 11:59 pm GMT (6:59 EST, 4:59 Pacific)

Submissions Close:Saturday, May 27nd at 11:59 pm GMT (6:59 EST, 4:59 Pacific)

Voting Begins: Sunday, May 28th

Voting Ends: Saturday, June 3rd

Winners Announced: Sunday, June 4th

Completed entries are to be submitted to ‘competition(at)harrypotterfanfiction.com'
Please include your story document, title, challenge number, e-mail address and penname.

Please read and review all the Rules of the competition before submitting your entry

Rules and Regulations


Don't Forget to Check out the Following Links

HTML tutorial
Sample Submission
Submission Checklist
Writer's Duel Discussion Via the Forum


Disclaimer: If you have any questions regarding the ToS or the Writer's Duel Rules, please visit our Trouble Ticket. Former staff members of HPFF or The Phoenix Feather are not eligible to win.

Well, I thought it was about time for a little update.

I`m sitting here, a stones throw away from 'Gringots bank' looking out of my window at the Houses of Parliament, Big Ben and the London Eye and hoping my supervisor takes his time coming back with the Quarter pounders. On my drive home, I`ll probably get caught at the traffic lights just beside the Tower of London. The thing is, I tend to take all this for granted. Living here, you just tend not to notice just what a grat place London is. It doesn`t help when you are snowed under at work and most of your spare time is spent on a laptop, answering emails, trying to figure out why that straightforward PHP program still wont work and looking for interesting updates for the best HP fanfiction site on the net.

Errmmm, I suppose I`d better get back to the update. Now that the site is open for submissions again, you can imagine that there are quite a few people who have been writing away during the closure and now have new stories and chapters to edit. The last time I checked, there were approximately fifteen hundred submissions waiting to be validated and hundreds more being added every day. So please be a little patient with us. We all have other things to do apart from the site. The staff are made up of people who give their time to HPFF while trying to juggle real life that involves, families, colleges, exams and in one case the trauma of finding out that a local shop will no longer be stocking Krispy Kremes. We really try our best to keep this place going and it is not a rare occurance to find several staff members spending an entire night in the queue, with only a cup of coffee for comfort.

So please bear with us. The site is going from strength to strength and can only get better. We are still the top site on the net for HP fanfiction. Over 26,000 stories and more than 100 million hits last month alone! We are still getting hundreds of submissions daily and new members are joining every day.

Hold on a minute! Is that a quarter pounder I can smell? Yep, looks like I`d better log off! Bye for now. Untill the next time. Jay. :)