I will not get into a deep discussion about SPEW or house elf rights but when we inherited the wondrous Star Bucky, the life of many a staffer changed dramatically and I think its perhaps time you got an inside look at living with a house elf. I know Jay thought he was helping by bringing Star Bucky to us staffers but, well…I’ll let you decide for yourself.

Day One – He appears out of nowhere, sneaks in the room when you least expect it (potty break, anyone?) and then lays out the most horrid, mis-matched outfit you can ever imagine. Red and gold, I ask? Do I look like a Christmas tree?

Day Two – No breakfast. What do we have him for anyway? It seems Star Bucky was late to StarBucks today and they were out of my favorite mocha. Note to self: facing a house elf with a severe lack of caffeine is not wise.

Day Three – After yesterday’s breakfast fiasco, Star Bucky spent the entire night crying over his failure. To keep the peace I offered to make she/he/it (you never can tell with house elves) breakfast. My thanks? Star Bucky fell into a hysterical crying fit in thanks for my treatment of him. If you thought dogs that lick your face were annoying, you’ve not experienced anything until you felt the *cough* loyalty of a house elf

Day Four – The archive is dirty. The queue is backed up. What has that house elf been doing all night anyway? I hope Star Bucky wasn’t playing with my bunny slippers again (I do think he has a crush on them). No, turns out another house elf had messed with the archive coding and Star Bucky couldn’t get his password. Likely excuse.

Day Five – The work week is ending and I can think only about the weekend. Hours upon hours locked away…..with Star Bucky??? I think it may be time to find a part time job. Either that or join SPEW as quickly as possible.

Cheers until the next round!