I’d like to burst the myth of the secret, mysterious, real-time HPFF staff room.

Contrary to popular opinion, the other staff members and I are not chained to desks or penned into cubicles in a large, tastefully decorated office in Jay's basement.

I often wish we were, though. (Okay, maybe not the part about Jay's basement.) Instead, when I’m on the site, I’m typically one of the following places:

• Stretched out on my bed, in my pajamas, with the cats.

• Sitting cross-legged at my desk. (Often, there will be a tiara perched on my head. I wear one while I write. It helps, I swear.)
  

• Catching some rays on my deck (I love wireless internet!)

• Down the street, at my favorite neighborhood bakery/café. They have 30 flavors of gelato, and free Wi-Fi. (Have I mentioned how much I love wireless internet?)

Sometimes, the Queue can be a frightening place, and there are times when I run across a cutting-fic that borders on being too graphic, and I often wish that I could poke my head out of my office door, and yell for Kay or Timeturner, to get a second opinion. AIM, MSN, and Yahoo! messenger are godsends for moments like that. . . but how much more fun would it be, if I could flick rubber bands over my cubicle wall at Cor Leonis, or stand on my chair and scream that I can’t face possibly face another Dramione songfic without a piece of chocolate. Britannia would rush to the rescue with dark chocolate truffles, I’m sure, and shade would probably suggest that I needed another cappuccino and that I’d doubtlessly feel better if I wore my tiara.

*smods* Tiaras make everything better.

Later, LogicalRaven might pop her head over the cubicle wall and ask RavenGryffendor if she felt up to brainstorming some evil ideas for future competitions. They’d send out for pizza and develop migraine headaches from writing too many riddles in one sitting. The rest of the staff would probably give them a wide berth, lest the two Raven's corner them and insist that they try and test-solve one of their latest riddle creations.

Someone would start a fresh batch of coffee and we’d compare notes, trading the most original OC names and descriptions of Hermione post-makeover the way other people trade baseball cards. Several cups of coffee later, I might realize I’ve been validating for four hours straight, and haven’t eaten or visited the bathroom. No wonder my eyes are blurry and crossed. Time for more coffee? Or to blow off some steam, IMing with Kay to tell her about the cute new purse that I just bought, on clearance? (A metallic bronze hobo bag, 75% off. How could I resist?)

Across the room, Violet Gryffindor might be strangling Mary Sue while Siren cheered and offered the use of her mighty rock. JaxGranger and Scarhead would be giggling about something in the corner, and then suddenly, without warning, someone might scream, "Salazar’s Socks, since when does Hermione wear a bikini made out of duct tape and dental floss?!?!" and we’d all collapse from giddy, yet disturbed laughter.

Instead, we have to rely on email, PMs, and IMs to accomplish these sorts of things, and unfortunately, Microsoft hasn’t yet invented a way to send chocolate truffles through the chat box. But, despite the fact that the HPFF staff is spread over a huge geographical area, spanning several countries and multiple time zones, I think it’s absolutely phenomenal how close we have grown and how well we are able to work together - complementing each other’s strengths and instinctively knowing when one of us needs a laugh or a smile. In a way, we have a virtual staff room, even if there isn’t a cappuccino machine or leather office chairs that wheel, spin around, and make you dizzy.

So, please have some patience with us. When we need that all-important second opinion on a questionable chapter, or are having difficulty troubleshooting precisely why a member is having difficulty logging in, since we can’t just pop our heads over the cubicle wall, sometimes we do need a bit of time before we can get back to you with an answer. Those time zones are a bit of a nuisance.

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Now . . . should I have the orange-chocolate-chip gelato, or the amaretto fudge ripple?

# posted by Anonymous @ 10:55 AM