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Thursday, August 07, 2008
The time of day immediately following sunset
OK. So, recently, I heard about this series called "Twilight." It's drawn a lot of fans and a lot of criticism, and I'm not sure what to think about it. The two biggest camps that I've run into so far are the "These are a great series of books that fit in with the fantasy/coming of age genre that are similar to Harry Potter, which we all know and love" camp, and the "This person is trying to get onto the Harry Potter bandwagon with a cheap knockoff" camp.
The fact that I have gotten all of my information from Harry Potter Fan Fiction's forums so far may have something to do with this fact. Anyway, I haven't actually read anything in the series, but I have looked pretty extensively at the Wikipedia articles about it and so that makes me a complete expert, at least so far as the internet is concerned. Plus I'm from the good old United States of America, and if there's anything that we in the US know how to do, it's make comments about the negative value of something without any actual knowledge about the subject [citation needed].
So, without further ado, here's my list of the reasons, off the top of my head, to dislike the Twilight series.
1. The Series takes place in Forks, Washington
Nothing exciting could possibly happen in Forks, Washington. I mean, think of places that fantasy novels take place. Narnia. Hogwarts. Other, parallel worlds to our own. Far back in the mists of ancient time. Forks, Washington. One of these just doesn't fit. According to Wikipedia, "The population was 3,120 at the 2000 census." 3,120 people? It's officially a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. Seriously. Sounds like the kind of place that would host the World's Largest Ball of Twine or something. They also apparently have a Timber Museum. Wow. Sounds like seconds of fun. I cannot wait to tell my friends I visited the Timber Museum.
2. The plot itself is just plain zany
I mean, it starts innocently enough but... wow. Let me try to sum up as much of this as I can before I lose it (might be spoilers below. Not sure how much of this is on the back of the books already. IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, SKIP AHEAD TO POINT 3).
...REALLY. POINT 3. SPOILERS BELOW.
...
...NOT KIDDING! POINT 3!
Right, then. Presuming that everyone who's here now wants to be here:
This girl named Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington, the Boredom Capital of the World, so that her mother and new husband can travel around a lot. There she meets and befriends a boy vampire named Edward Cullen who only sucks animal blood. They form a romantic relationship but then other vampires show up and want to drink Bella's blood. Bella escapes but then it tricked into an encounter with other vampires who will drink her blood, but Ed saves her then runs away from her so she can become friends with a werewolf. Then she's freed with the condition that she'll be turned into a vampire but realizes that Edward has knocked her up and so OH GOD I CAN'T GO ON! The plot's about as twisted as a malformed pretzel.
3. Each book in the series has a playlist to go with it.
OK, there are a couple of problems here. A) if you read at a faster or slower rate, you're going to have a hard time reading with the soundtrack on, and B) Come on. A story with appropriate music cues already decided on for key points in the book? Why didn't she just title it, "Twilight: Seriously, give me the movie deal already"?
4. Robert Pattinson, better known to us all as Cedric Diggory from the Goblet of Fire movie adaptation, has been stolen to play Edward in the upcoming film of the first book.
Seriously. She took him. From us. Not cool.
5. Edward Cullen is physically 17 forever, and is in High School.
"So, Edward. I can't help but notice that you've been a student at this school for the past 20 years and you haven't aged a day. That's rather interesting, isn't it?" If you had forever to live, would you really be spending it in High School? Really?
Anyway, that's all I have for you. I am taken to understand that others may jump in the debate at some point. But what do you all think? Comment below with... well, comments.
The fact that I have gotten all of my information from Harry Potter Fan Fiction's forums so far may have something to do with this fact. Anyway, I haven't actually read anything in the series, but I have looked pretty extensively at the Wikipedia articles about it and so that makes me a complete expert, at least so far as the internet is concerned. Plus I'm from the good old United States of America, and if there's anything that we in the US know how to do, it's make comments about the negative value of something without any actual knowledge about the subject [citation needed].
So, without further ado, here's my list of the reasons, off the top of my head, to dislike the Twilight series.
1. The Series takes place in Forks, Washington
Nothing exciting could possibly happen in Forks, Washington. I mean, think of places that fantasy novels take place. Narnia. Hogwarts. Other, parallel worlds to our own. Far back in the mists of ancient time. Forks, Washington. One of these just doesn't fit. According to Wikipedia, "The population was 3,120 at the 2000 census." 3,120 people? It's officially a tiny town in the middle of nowhere. Seriously. Sounds like the kind of place that would host the World's Largest Ball of Twine or something. They also apparently have a Timber Museum. Wow. Sounds like seconds of fun. I cannot wait to tell my friends I visited the Timber Museum.
2. The plot itself is just plain zany
I mean, it starts innocently enough but... wow. Let me try to sum up as much of this as I can before I lose it (might be spoilers below. Not sure how much of this is on the back of the books already. IF YOU DON'T WANT SPOILERS, SKIP AHEAD TO POINT 3).
...REALLY. POINT 3. SPOILERS BELOW.
...
...NOT KIDDING! POINT 3!
Right, then. Presuming that everyone who's here now wants to be here:
This girl named Bella Swan moves to Forks, Washington, the Boredom Capital of the World, so that her mother and new husband can travel around a lot. There she meets and befriends a boy vampire named Edward Cullen who only sucks animal blood. They form a romantic relationship but then other vampires show up and want to drink Bella's blood. Bella escapes but then it tricked into an encounter with other vampires who will drink her blood, but Ed saves her then runs away from her so she can become friends with a werewolf. Then she's freed with the condition that she'll be turned into a vampire but realizes that Edward has knocked her up and so OH GOD I CAN'T GO ON! The plot's about as twisted as a malformed pretzel.
3. Each book in the series has a playlist to go with it.
OK, there are a couple of problems here. A) if you read at a faster or slower rate, you're going to have a hard time reading with the soundtrack on, and B) Come on. A story with appropriate music cues already decided on for key points in the book? Why didn't she just title it, "Twilight: Seriously, give me the movie deal already"?
4. Robert Pattinson, better known to us all as Cedric Diggory from the Goblet of Fire movie adaptation, has been stolen to play Edward in the upcoming film of the first book.
Seriously. She took him. From us. Not cool.
5. Edward Cullen is physically 17 forever, and is in High School.
"So, Edward. I can't help but notice that you've been a student at this school for the past 20 years and you haven't aged a day. That's rather interesting, isn't it?" If you had forever to live, would you really be spending it in High School? Really?
Anyway, that's all I have for you. I am taken to understand that others may jump in the debate at some point. But what do you all think? Comment below with... well, comments.
Comments:
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Haha, I've actually read the books, and you're right on the money. I had more fun reading Book 4 spoilers than the book itself. (Please don't yell at me, Twilight fans. I read Books 1-3 when I had mono and nothing better to do and Book 4 because I couldn't believe that Stephanie Meyer had upped her anti-realism campaign.)
Point 3, though, shows that the author thinks that teenagers still listen to Linkin Park.
Again, no one throw stuff at me. Twilight is okay if you accept it for what it is, but I personally don't find it compelling.
Point 3, though, shows that the author thinks that teenagers still listen to Linkin Park.
Again, no one throw stuff at me. Twilight is okay if you accept it for what it is, but I personally don't find it compelling.
It doesn't matter who the artist is. I just mean that if the author intends for a 4 minute song to carry you through a scene in the book, and it takes you 5 minutes (or on the other side of things, only 3) then you'll get desynchronized.
Anyway, know, I know that most teenagers don't listen to Linkin Park... except maybe the ones that have gone off their meds and let their mom cut their hair.
Anyway, know, I know that most teenagers don't listen to Linkin Park... except maybe the ones that have gone off their meds and let their mom cut their hair.
people contine to argue the point of whats better hp or twilight. i'm a mega twilight fan, but even i have the common sense to realise it's nothing compared to hp, i mean everyone has heard of harry potter and j.k rowling. But if you were to ask people if they'd heard of twilight or stephenie meyer, the chances are they say wtf?
I loved the first three, but Breaking Dawn was a major disappoinment.
and even though i hate to admit it, i loved reading your breakdown of the story, nearly as much as i loved reading the books.
you almost converted me :)
I loved the first three, but Breaking Dawn was a major disappoinment.
and even though i hate to admit it, i loved reading your breakdown of the story, nearly as much as i loved reading the books.
you almost converted me :)
# posted by 
: 3:56 PM
: 3:56 PM
I am almost as loyal Twilight fan as well as a HP fan (*ducks as rotten tomatoes fly), but there are serious flaws in the plot, as you pointed out. *Spoilers below*
First of all, Edward Cullen is a total Gary Stu. I'd like him much better if he had at least one bad flaw. Some people say it's his over-protectiveness, but that's not very bad, is it?
Also, Bella is a total Mary Sue. The only selfish thought she has are to keep other people safe. How realistic is that? Even the best of us have had our bad moments, but Bella just...doesn't.
Thirdly, Bella and Edward's relationship is sort of..creepy. I mean, he's more than eighty years older than her. Talk about a cradle-robber! And, of course, there is always how they think each of them is too good for the other. Which is why New Moon was so...ugh. Bella should have gotten over Edward like a normal person and gone for Jacob, who was PERFECT for her. I always thought Bella and Edward's relationship was unhealthy, like infatuation bordering on obsession rather than love. My opinion changed in Breaking Dawn, but still...
Fourthly, I was majorly disappointed with the ending of Breaking Dawn. It was too much of a "happy ending" withot even mentioning most of the problems throughout the story. For example, at the end of Breaking Dawn, almost everyone important in Bella's life was immortal--her, Edward, Jacob, Renesmee. What about Charlie and Renee? And what about the fact that Bella, her husband, and her daughter might not have souls? That particular part was a significant issue in the previous books, but was completely overlooked in Breaking Dawn.
Okay, I think my rant is over with *blushes* And I didn't even know there was a playlist for the books, though I have some songs I associate with reading it like I do with most other stories. Um, so, anyway, Twilight and Eclipse were quite good (Eclipse nearly made me cry), while New Moon and Breaking Dawn were rather disappointing.
GO JACOB/BELLA!
First of all, Edward Cullen is a total Gary Stu. I'd like him much better if he had at least one bad flaw. Some people say it's his over-protectiveness, but that's not very bad, is it?
Also, Bella is a total Mary Sue. The only selfish thought she has are to keep other people safe. How realistic is that? Even the best of us have had our bad moments, but Bella just...doesn't.
Thirdly, Bella and Edward's relationship is sort of..creepy. I mean, he's more than eighty years older than her. Talk about a cradle-robber! And, of course, there is always how they think each of them is too good for the other. Which is why New Moon was so...ugh. Bella should have gotten over Edward like a normal person and gone for Jacob, who was PERFECT for her. I always thought Bella and Edward's relationship was unhealthy, like infatuation bordering on obsession rather than love. My opinion changed in Breaking Dawn, but still...
Fourthly, I was majorly disappointed with the ending of Breaking Dawn. It was too much of a "happy ending" withot even mentioning most of the problems throughout the story. For example, at the end of Breaking Dawn, almost everyone important in Bella's life was immortal--her, Edward, Jacob, Renesmee. What about Charlie and Renee? And what about the fact that Bella, her husband, and her daughter might not have souls? That particular part was a significant issue in the previous books, but was completely overlooked in Breaking Dawn.
Okay, I think my rant is over with *blushes* And I didn't even know there was a playlist for the books, though I have some songs I associate with reading it like I do with most other stories. Um, so, anyway, Twilight and Eclipse were quite good (Eclipse nearly made me cry), while New Moon and Breaking Dawn were rather disappointing.
GO JACOB/BELLA!
# posted by : 5:22 PM
: 5:22 PM
I know nothing of Twilight, but I must point out that Linkin Park is from MY generation, and I'm 31... do you mean to say this is supposed to appeal to teenagers?
# posted by : 12:58 PM
: 12:58 PM
wtf u ppl are criticizing a book tht u have barely read wat if sum one sed tht abt hp after just watching the movies....exactly so stop degrading ppls work its perfectly healthy to like both the hp seris and the twilight seris.
and second of all wtf are u dissing linkin park ill hav u noe im 14 and most of my frens luv linkin park and we hav not gone off our "meds" neither do our parents cut our hair ,as for u miss 30 year old "hater" ill hav u noe tht Linkin Park is rather inspirational an jus coz its old doesnt mean its unappealing third of all jus coz the book has a flipping playlist doesnt mean tht u hav to listen to it! if u didnt noe they are making it into a movie an maby thts wat the playlist is 4 dont u thinkand fourthly jus coz sum ppl neva heard of it dosent mean anything u ever heard of undiscovered talent huh?! ill hav u noe tht A LOT of ppl didnt reconize hp until it was mande into a movie .and fiftly Edward has flaws there jus not as enunciated as u wuld like them to be .and sixthly edward is not a craddle robber he is 17 jus like bella only mentally he is 80 summin and Jacob is so not perfect for her its jus becoz u dont like edward ur trying to conspire against him no all i hav to say is tht im highly disappointed in your unfair judgement of a fairly good book post from a highly concerned contributer
and second of all wtf are u dissing linkin park ill hav u noe im 14 and most of my frens luv linkin park and we hav not gone off our "meds" neither do our parents cut our hair ,as for u miss 30 year old "hater" ill hav u noe tht Linkin Park is rather inspirational an jus coz its old doesnt mean its unappealing third of all jus coz the book has a flipping playlist doesnt mean tht u hav to listen to it! if u didnt noe they are making it into a movie an maby thts wat the playlist is 4 dont u thinkand fourthly jus coz sum ppl neva heard of it dosent mean anything u ever heard of undiscovered talent huh?! ill hav u noe tht A LOT of ppl didnt reconize hp until it was mande into a movie .and fiftly Edward has flaws there jus not as enunciated as u wuld like them to be .and sixthly edward is not a craddle robber he is 17 jus like bella only mentally he is 80 summin and Jacob is so not perfect for her its jus becoz u dont like edward ur trying to conspire against him no all i hav to say is tht im highly disappointed in your unfair judgement of a fairly good book post from a highly concerned contributer
# posted by : 1:14 AM
: 1:14 AM
I just recently read the Twilight series, mostly because of all the hype that was going down on the HPFF forums.
I, personally, thought they were good. A nice simple read for someone who doesn't have anything better to do on a Saturday afternoon in the summer.
Anywho - yes, I pretty much agree with all the flaws in the book that you mentioned. I don't like Bella, and I do agree that Edward is a Gary-Stu. In fact, despite the fact that most people's favorite character is Edward and they think he's soooo hot or whatever, I'm a total Jasper Hale fan. There, it's out there.
Anywho, there is one thing I wanted to point out: the Cullens haven't been going to the same high school for twenty years. They have to move around because of the whole 'not aging' (how in the world do you spell 'aging' right, anyway) thing. It would be obvious that something wasn't right, ya know? They had recently returned form Alaska, actually.
As for the whole HP vs Twilight, hands down HP wins. JK Rowling created a whole world that needs a lexicon in order to be referenced, whereas S. Meyer only created some immortal sparkly beings.
So, from a Twilight enjoyer, there's my thoughts that no one will read anyway.
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I, personally, thought they were good. A nice simple read for someone who doesn't have anything better to do on a Saturday afternoon in the summer.
Anywho - yes, I pretty much agree with all the flaws in the book that you mentioned. I don't like Bella, and I do agree that Edward is a Gary-Stu. In fact, despite the fact that most people's favorite character is Edward and they think he's soooo hot or whatever, I'm a total Jasper Hale fan. There, it's out there.
Anywho, there is one thing I wanted to point out: the Cullens haven't been going to the same high school for twenty years. They have to move around because of the whole 'not aging' (how in the world do you spell 'aging' right, anyway) thing. It would be obvious that something wasn't right, ya know? They had recently returned form Alaska, actually.
As for the whole HP vs Twilight, hands down HP wins. JK Rowling created a whole world that needs a lexicon in order to be referenced, whereas S. Meyer only created some immortal sparkly beings.
So, from a Twilight enjoyer, there's my thoughts that no one will read anyway.
# posted by : 10:38 PM
: 10:38 PM << Home